Strange Economic Indicators

So far this week, I’ve heard several radio interviews with people predicting that the economy is well into its recovery. Some of the people were highly regarded economists who quoted rising orders for durable goods, increases in inventories, and the kinds of things that one would expect to look to for indications of our economic well being. Then there were these two separate reports that caught my attention: divorce rate and plastic surgery.

It turns out that elective plastic surgery (nose jobs, boob jobs, liposuction, and the like) are very good indicators of the economy. Apparently people who are considering carving up their bodies are not willing to do so if they might need the money to pay for food or rent instead. Rest easy all you job seekers, the plastic surgery rate is running wild! You needn’t be concerned about any other indicators because the knife wielding Nip/Tuck boys are making their boat payments again. It’s only a matter of time until it trickles down to the rest of us.

And that’s not all. Apparently those who have been deprived of their opportunity to improve themselves thru plastic surgery find themselves unwilling to continue in their marital relationship. That’s right, during economic downturns the divorce rate drops precipitously. It’s on the rise now so clearly the recession is completely over.

Strange as these indicators sound, they are every bit as good at predicting the direction of the economy as all the number crunching done by government and private sector economists. Too many factors lead to confusion. I’m going with the body fixers and the marriage splitters. We’ve got good days ahead of us for sure.


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