Scared Away

I started blogging as a way to share my relatively random thoughts with the world. I have kept a journal on and off for a couple of decades, but I’ve never shared anything written in any of them with any other living being — not even my pets. I was starting to get into the groove of blogging to the point that I was spending less time writing in my journal. Until someone responded to one of my posts!

Getting a reply meant someone was reading the stuff I was posting. It also meant that my words were enough to motivate them to reply. That scared the hell out of me. Suddenly my random rants had become real. I could no longer just drop my mental flotsom and jetsom into my blog without considering the impact it might have on others. My writing became important as more than just an outlet for my brain drivvle.

As soon as I realized that I quit blogging. I didn’t stop thinking about it. I even tried a couple more entries. I’ve had several ideas since the realization hit me, but each time I started to type, I decided that I’d better take some time to think about this and be more succinct and precise. Thinking about it that way made me delay, then abandon each thought that crossed my mind.

I’m hoping that sharing this fear will free me to try again. I realize that years may go by before anyone ever replies to another of my posts. I just found my reaction surprising to me.

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